Saturday, July 28, 2012

Still


Floating out
with 3 canoes worth of friends
into a purple sky,
exploring cliff sides
and caves.

Paddling out
to the middle of the lake
as the stars come out.

Propping my chacos up
and leaning back.

Soft conversations
before sitting up fast
and racing back,
fueled by adrenaline.

{}
 *God is in this place*
{}

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Grateful

“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.”  --Ann Voskamp (One Thousand Gifts)

*

I am thankful
Greatful
and overflowing

for
sunlit summers
white flowers
nature trails
afternoon naps
a good book
long braids
horse rides

and memories..
of motherhood
daddy-daughter dates
sisters
brothers pulling pranks
friendships

*

"We are grateful for the time we have been given.." --Edward Walker

"Don't cry because it's over... Smile because it happened." --Dr. Suess


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Sunshine

My Sunshine Summer
  *
Is full of moments when I quietly smile inside,
feel joy spread
and overflow into my very being,
and then burst out into unbound
childlike
laughter..
*
God is my joy =)

Growth

I am 23 and have been single for over a year and a half. And I haven't spoken to my x-boyfriend in 8 months. He is actually getting *married in a week or two (I dont know the exact date...)

When he text me to let me know he was dating someone else, while it surprised me, I was ok with it. It didnt hurt. There was no twinge of regret. I was completely. totally. ok. The Lord brought me to a place of complete closure. Three weeks after his text message, Matt and sweet girlfriend got engaged. And as I said above, will soon be married  :)  I pray their marriage is joy-filled.


I am at peace with our break up and my life as a single woman.
I am happy.
Truly happy.
I praise the Lord for my peace. My comfort. And now that I am daily growing closer to the Lord, I have felt an overflow of joy from my heart that I can never understand. I am satisfied.

I am in love with my Lord. My God. My Savior and my Friend.

I see a wide horizon beckoning me with open arms and a loving smile.

God has something great planned. And I await His daily direction with an eager, adoring heart.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Top Shelf


A vintage toy shop sits dusty and forgotten. Dim light rests on assorted dolls as they stand still and untouched… unloved. Similar in construction yet unique in features, each doll wears intricately made clothing. Matching bracelets of twine hold the price tags. Every doll is priced the same.
The hearts of these wooden women are alive. They feel and desire. And they wait.

Until one rebellious doll attaches a brightly colored “DISCOUNT” tag to her bracelet. Her stiff limbs assist as she climbs from the top shelf. The remaining figures look on in shock while she positions herself in the front window. The hours past and traffic beyond the window begins to slow. Surprisingly, the bell above the door rings. A young boy steps in and double checks the price tag. He shrugs, tosses the doll carelessly onto the counter and buys the doll. The old time cash register, once sitting quietly, now seems to proudly announce the transaction.

Alone once again—the dolls look to one another… and begin to write their own price tags. Some boast of one night rental. A single coin will lend them out for the evening. Other dolls have placed themselves on lower shelves. They are now easier to reach as well as easier to afford.

Their desire to be loved has overcome the original desire they were created with—the desire to be sought after and committed to.

Boys come in to the store now. They glance around casually. Grab what they can. And leave. Others return the rented dolls. Once adorned in the finest of clothing, they are returned with missing bonnets and gloves. Some are broken and badly in need of repair.

One doll watches on. Her intelligent eyes take in what is happening to her sisters. Comparing herself to the used/rented dolls—she looks good. Even pretty. But she knows… she remembers. What she once looked like. Ashamed, she regrets comparing herself. They are all worth the same. Yet they are selling themselves for varying amounts. She looks down at her own discounted price tag and the stains she has gotten from being picked up and looked at.

Finally—she begins to be the one who rebels. Only instead of rebelling against the price they are truly worth, she decides to rebel against lowering price tags.

The room stills as the dolls all look toward the “DISCOUNT” tag as it floats to the floor. This brave one now wears only her original price tag. She begins to climb back to the top shelf. It is a much harder journey than the trip to the lower shelves. Slowly and painfully she retakes her place.

Months pass. A year. Eventually… a man walks in. Much taller than the boys. He can reach her top shelf. He has saved his money until he can afford her.

And her waiting is over.
'In that book which is
My memory...
On the first page
That is the chapter when
I first met you
Appear the words...
Here begins a new life.'

-- La Vita Nuova by Dante Alighieri

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Odd Summer

Honestly...
This is a weird summer.

Freshman summer= Crazy and I was always doing something (typical)..
Sophmore summer= Dating my First. Boyfriend... ever  =*) 

And now... Junior summer. It's this weird in-between stage...
Definitely an interesting season.

I dont really know
how to describe it.
I have every right to be sad.
Work is hard,
Friends Are Gone,
and...
life is weird.

But to be transparent with you-- Im happy =):)
I dont even know why.
Im very grounded in God.
Very sure that Im in His will.

And am purposefully
*choosing
to find joy in...
everything.

So... Im good:).
weirdly
oddly
simply
good...

How! My dears, are you?? ♥♥

Friday, June 17, 2011

Stolen

I've decided how I feel right now... Can I draw you a word picture? Deep down--this is how I feel.
___

I am on a mountain. I am standing very straight, almost leaning forward eagerly.
And I am yelling as loudly as I can.
My face is strained and pulled with how hard I am yelling.
But there's a strong scary wind blowing.
And its stealing my words.
My breath is gone- taken by the wind.
But I am still yelling.
Rain is slapping me hard on the face.
Telling me to stop trying.
My words have no meaning.
No one hears me.
They don't see me.
Those that glance at me- turn away with disdain or indifference.
And there I stand.
Still yelling.
With the wind pulling my tears off my face as if they mean nothing.
Just like my words.
Stolen.

___