Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Top Shelf


A vintage toy shop sits dusty and forgotten. Dim light rests on assorted dolls as they stand still and untouched… unloved. Similar in construction yet unique in features, each doll wears intricately made clothing. Matching bracelets of twine hold the price tags. Every doll is priced the same.
The hearts of these wooden women are alive. They feel and desire. And they wait.

Until one rebellious doll attaches a brightly colored “DISCOUNT” tag to her bracelet. Her stiff limbs assist as she climbs from the top shelf. The remaining figures look on in shock while she positions herself in the front window. The hours past and traffic beyond the window begins to slow. Surprisingly, the bell above the door rings. A young boy steps in and double checks the price tag. He shrugs, tosses the doll carelessly onto the counter and buys the doll. The old time cash register, once sitting quietly, now seems to proudly announce the transaction.

Alone once again—the dolls look to one another… and begin to write their own price tags. Some boast of one night rental. A single coin will lend them out for the evening. Other dolls have placed themselves on lower shelves. They are now easier to reach as well as easier to afford.

Their desire to be loved has overcome the original desire they were created with—the desire to be sought after and committed to.

Boys come in to the store now. They glance around casually. Grab what they can. And leave. Others return the rented dolls. Once adorned in the finest of clothing, they are returned with missing bonnets and gloves. Some are broken and badly in need of repair.

One doll watches on. Her intelligent eyes take in what is happening to her sisters. Comparing herself to the used/rented dolls—she looks good. Even pretty. But she knows… she remembers. What she once looked like. Ashamed, she regrets comparing herself. They are all worth the same. Yet they are selling themselves for varying amounts. She looks down at her own discounted price tag and the stains she has gotten from being picked up and looked at.

Finally—she begins to be the one who rebels. Only instead of rebelling against the price they are truly worth, she decides to rebel against lowering price tags.

The room stills as the dolls all look toward the “DISCOUNT” tag as it floats to the floor. This brave one now wears only her original price tag. She begins to climb back to the top shelf. It is a much harder journey than the trip to the lower shelves. Slowly and painfully she retakes her place.

Months pass. A year. Eventually… a man walks in. Much taller than the boys. He can reach her top shelf. He has saved his money until he can afford her.

And her waiting is over.
'In that book which is
My memory...
On the first page
That is the chapter when
I first met you
Appear the words...
Here begins a new life.'

-- La Vita Nuova by Dante Alighieri

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Odd Summer

Honestly...
This is a weird summer.

Freshman summer= Crazy and I was always doing something (typical)..
Sophmore summer= Dating my First. Boyfriend... ever  =*) 

And now... Junior summer. It's this weird in-between stage...
Definitely an interesting season.

I dont really know
how to describe it.
I have every right to be sad.
Work is hard,
Friends Are Gone,
and...
life is weird.

But to be transparent with you-- Im happy =):)
I dont even know why.
Im very grounded in God.
Very sure that Im in His will.

And am purposefully
*choosing
to find joy in...
everything.

So... Im good:).
weirdly
oddly
simply
good...

How! My dears, are you?? ♥

Friday, June 17, 2011

Stolen

I've decided how I feel right now... Can I draw you a word picture? Deep down--this is how I feel.
___

I am on a mountain. I am standing very straight, almost leaning forward eagerly.
And I am yelling as loudly as I can.
My face is strained and pulled with how hard I am yelling.
But there's a strong scary wind blowing.
And its stealing my words.
My breath is gone- taken by the wind.
But I am still yelling.
Rain is slapping me hard on the face.
Telling me to stop trying.
My words have no meaning.
No one hears me.
They don't see me.
Those that glance at me- turn away with disdain or indifference.
And there I stand.
Still yelling.
With the wind pulling my tears off my face as if they mean nothing.
Just like my words.
Stolen.

___

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Gossip


You do it.
You know you do.
Gossip.

Many a reputation
has been
ruined.

From girls in a
locker room..
to old biddies
at a quilt meet.

It is
wrong
painful
sad
hurtful
mean
spiteful
...and
addictive.

Break the habbit.
Give life
love
and joy.

~~~
"They get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to." 1 Tim 5:13

"The tongue has the power of life and death" - Proverbs 18:21a

Monday, May 23, 2011

Vulnerability

Vulnerability.
Part of being a girl..
a woman.

You have to
offer
yourself.
Put your heart
on the line.

Bravely
face...
the unknown.

Resist the
temptation
to draw
into
yourself.
And disappear.

Love.
Unconditionally.
Those God puts into
Your lives.

Men.
Need them.
Want.
Hate.
Adore.
Desire.
Love...
them.

Despite the
chance
of heartbreak.
and pain.
Loneliness.

Just to risk it all
on the
possibility
that your
vulnerability
will be
rewarded...
with love.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Spinning, Twirling & Singing

Hmmmmm--- I love the smell of new summer hobbies


Incredibly, indescribably...*soft


And so it begins!
Handcrafted..
bottom whorl..
drop spindle.


Preparing to dye
(after I had set the twist)



Pink on one side...
deep dark cherry on the other.









Finished! I named it...Strawberry Kisses  =)







'Maybe' man

Is this 'Maybe' man... My 'forever' man?
My love and hug and marry man?
The faithful,
frustratingly constant,
'Always' man?
Morning breath
kisses
and a
sock trail
behind him..
A work shed
and a hobby
and a "Honey Do" list.
Building tree houses...
and a family...
'Daddy' man?

Lord.
I Love this man.
Can he be 'My' man?
My...'Forever-And-A-Day, daisy giving, lawn mowing"
...husband...

Here goes wishing.
For my 'Maybe' man--
to be my 'Forever' man.
~~~

Friday, May 20, 2011

Fragile Emotions...


Delicate
Inside of me there is an
empty room
filled with amber light coming from
a crystal chandelier.
With priceless gems and
intricate designs;
this chandelier captures hearts
and warm souls.

But this sweet precious item is
at risk.
It is suspended
by a thread.
It is easily swayed.
Easily broken.
Easily hurt.

I fear that this thread
Will snap.
And my heart
Will break.
And the chandelier
Will Chatter.
Pieces lying everywhere.
As I cry.
Tears falling.
Sobs coming forth from the brokenness.
Rushing to pick up the pieces.
Desolate.

Inside of me there is an
empty room
filled with amber light coming from
a crystal chandelier…


Becoming a woman...

22 years old...
My mother had 3 kids by that age.

And here I am.
Not a wife.
Not a mother.
Not a lover,
girlfriend,
or fiance.

I am but a
lowly student.
22 years old
and becoming
a woman.

This blog is me.
My questions.
Fears.
Insecurities.

Please be someone
to help
love
encourage
and comfort.